Letter from Lakewood

Background:

In Spring of 2008, the Center for Sustainable Change entered into partnership with the 3 Principles Network in Des Moines, Iowa, the Lakewood Community Development Corporation in Charlotte, North Carolina, and the W.K. Kellogg Foundation--through our National Community Resiliency Project. After a year of work in both locations, our Executive Director wrote up this “informal” report about recent work in the Lakewood neighborhood … Most recently--and we are thrilled about this--we have entered into partnership with the Delta Citizens Alliance in Greenville, Mississippi ... See our new report from the Delta, below this one.

Dear Friends,

I am writing on the second leg of my flight from Charlotte, on the way home to San Jose. I have to say that the work that happened in Lakewood this past week was phenomenal. I myself am still in awe about it all.

In one of the most “challenged” and impoverished neighborhoods in Charlotte, in the run-down neighborhood Baptist Church, residents, children, pre-school teachers, police officers, volunteers, agency staff and well-heeled residents of greater Charlotte all sat together and spoke of mental health and wisdom—the common humanity of us all. Folks spoke of the challenges they faced as they worked at stressful, low-paying jobs, or as they tried to raise four children on their own, or having just been laid off from their “high power” jobs.

I was very touched when the community police officer for the neighborhood (who sat still as a stone the entire first workshop), opened up at the second workshop. He said, “I was born in a hospital just like everybody else. This uniform doesn’t give me any special powers.”

Officer “Dean,”* unprompted, talked about his children and how hard it was for him to keep his mind clear when he was called in for domestic violence incidents involving children. (Officer Dean also walked out of the workshops with a copy of “Modello,” the book about CSC President Roger’s first community project in Florida).

Grandma “Daisy,”* who kept telling us how nice it was to get out of the house, made almost all of 12 workshops, leaning heavily on her cane and with help from her family. Her almost three-year-old granddaughter sat through all the same workshops, as polite and quiet as anyone on a Sunday in church.

Mothers talked about having to move in with their own mothers, given the economy. One single mother from the neighborhood talked about how intimidated she was when asked to serve on the CDC board of directors. Then she heard from a highly educated architect (just laid off) how we all get intimidated; and how just because some folks have degrees, by no means do they have a nice life. “At my organization, we were all so bad to each other. Just mean to each other,” this professional said. Residents who sat silent for their first few workshops, began to raise their voices toward the end and contribute their thoughts. The playing field just totally flattened.

What made all this happen were the warm and positive feelings that emerged when we talked about universal mental health and wisdom.

With the profound contributions of Cynthia Stennis-Sera (former resident of Homestead Gardens, staff at Modello, and now national speaker) and Lloyd Fields (social worker at Modello, and also a national speaker), we talked about how mental health was for everyone, and inside of everyone—not some end goal to be achieved after years of therapy, something a social worker brought in for you—or even something some folks had more, or less, of.

We talked about how we all go in and out of moods. Sometimes we feel good about ourselves and sometimes we don’t. We talked about how our thoughts (about circumstances, the past, ourselves) made all of this happen. And we talked about how it was good to just “pull over” to the side of the road when our moods were making us act badly, especially toward our children. We talked about the futility of blame and judgment. Cynthia blew everyone away when she told of the moment she realized that she was raising her kids like her mother raised her, saw her children’s innocence—and stopped “whipping” them forever.

What started with 10 folks on Monday morning, grew to be 15 on Tuesday, 20 on Wednesday, until we were up to nearly 30 adults and 20 children and teens at the Thursday workshop after our community dinner. (Early reports from the last two days w/ Lloyd and Cynthia speak of similar turnouts.) The ball is rolling in Lakewood. You could feel the energy building day by day.

I have to commend all Lakewood CDC staff and volunteers for setting up the week and making everything happen—right down to the cake and lemonade. Special thanks to Phyllis and Sandy for opening up their lovely homes to us.

I also have to thank Lloyd Fields and Cynthia Stennis-Sera for the beautiful way they walk their talk—bringing hope, joy and consideration for everyone into any setting … from our fried-everything lunches, to our workshops, to all our car rides back and forth from the hotel.

According to Officer Dean, violent crimes in Lakewood are still down (having declined dramatically over the last year). I believe there have been NO violent crimes for many months now. (We will be documenting all this in more detail in our project reports.) Some of you already know this is typical for Three Principles work in such communities.

At the end of my stay, Grandma Daisy’s son-in-law, a thin, African American man who scarcely spoke three words for all the workshops approached me to say goodbye and gave me the warmest hug.

“This has been real good,” he said, “I have really enjoyed this.”

Best of all, we now have a chance to get another Community Resiliency Project rolling in the Mississippi Delta, with some of the worst poverty and depression rates in the country. I have been invited to present at the Delta Citizens Alliance gathering in late April and am hoping to find a way to bring Lloyd and Cynthia with me. The magic that started at Modello now has a chance to really have a national level impact and I was very touched by the “full circle” experience of working with Lloyd and Cynthia some 25 years after Modello—the project that started it all.

Thanks to all for your help and support …

Ami

*Some names have been changed to protect the innocent!

Ami Chen Mills-Naim
Director
Center for Sustainable Change
ami@principlespsychology.org