The Power of the Pause

Randa can move fast when she’s angry…

The 47-year-old single mom was in the kitchen making an omelette when her 11-year-old daughter, Nicole, started mouthing off to her from the living room. In a flash, Randa was face-to-face with Nicole. This kind of heated family drama would usually involve Randa raising her hand, followed by tears and recriminations. Nicole would leave for school with the sting of a slap and a dark cloud hanging over her day.

This day was different. In the 20 seconds it took for Randa to run into the living room, she remembered what she’d learned at the Three Principles-based, “Peaceful Parenting” class she had attended the week before in her neighborhood of Lakewood, in Charlotte North Carolina.

She remembered: Your thoughts create your everyday personal reality; your feelings come from this; you can have a new thought any time.

Looking into her daughter’s eyes, Randa found new words coming out of her mouth. In a quiet tone, Randa said, “Do you realize you are talking to me the way you talk to your friends?” Nicole’s defiant look crumbled. “I’m sorry,” she muttered. Randa continued, “Be mindful that I’m not your friend, and watch your tone when you’re talking to me.”

The moment was over. Randa actually felt surprise that the calm words had come so easily. The best part was, “Nicole didn’t go to school feeling like I hated her,” says Randa.

Randa's twin daughters

Randa’s twin daughters have noticed such a change in their mother that they practically push her out the door on the evenings when the Peaceful Parenting class is held just down the road at a neighborhood church. “Don’t you have class tonight, mama?” the twins say. “Don’t be late now.”

With the change in their mother, their own lives have gotten better…

This is what your donations are making possible.

Randa’s story is an example of how our donors help improve people’s lives in impoverished communities across the country. The Center for Sustainable Change's non-profit National Community Resiliency Project (NCRP), in partnership with local organizations such as the Lakewood Community Development Corporation in Charlotte, provides individuals like Randa with the opportunity to receive Three Principles training through a variety of locally-initiated and locally-designed programs.

Like a stone thrown in a pond, one person’s raised level of consciousness has a ripple effect that extends throughout their family, school and community.

For information about the Center for Sustainable Change and to make a donation, please visit our website. www.centerforsustainablechange.org

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By Maureen Latta, Grants Manager, Center for Sustainable Change